Art Therapy & A Little PTSD

So I’m still off work recuperating from my pulled chest muscle. Relaxing, doing a little drawing, just minding my own business. Feeling pretty good until I receive some bad news from work. Well, first, I need to provide some back story here.

About three months ago, one of the residents I cook for, became very irate. Seems as if I wasn’t providing his coffee quick enough so he waltzes into the kitchen to get it himself. I’ve told him a thousand times that he is not allowed in the kitchen. This time he gets in my face and calls me a dumb bitch. I could see in his face he wanted to hit me. It shook me. I reported it and he moved out that weekend. In the four years I’ve worked there, he has threatened me multiple times. There’s alway something wrong with either the food, there’s not enough, or it’s not what he wanted. I follow menus provided by the owner. This resident also steals from the kitchen constantly despite doors being locked. It has been very stressful.

Well, the owner let him move back in this weekend. I should say here that the resident is the owner’s dad. Yeah. I’ve been sick to my stomach thinking about going back to work and serving this man his three meals every day. I go back tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I’m supposed to be removing stress from my life and here’s someone else giving me more. Not sure what I’m going to do. I’m starting a new job soon, but I can’t afford to be out of work until my new employer opens up her bistro. I’ll just take it one day at a time. Fingers crossed I make it!

In other news, here are some doodles! The prompts for the art challenge I participate in were, ‘ocean’ for June 8th, and ‘monument’ for June 9th.

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Scare Of The Day

I arrived at work this morning at 7 a.m. At 7:15 I had a sharp pain in my chest. It lasted no longer than five seconds. It was scary but I brushed it off. About ten minutes later, it happened again. I sat down and took some deep breaths, trying to relax. That seemed to work. It happened again 30 minutes later. Then again. Then again. I decided I needed to get to the ER a.s.a.p. The doctor ordered an EKG and bloodwork. Long story short, they couldn’t find anything wrong. Everything looks good. Which is great, but what the heck is going on? Their best guess is an intramuscular injury. Which is entirely possible given my job. I’m always lifting or tugging on something. So I guess no lifting for awhile and I’m supposed to rest. Thank God it wasn’t my heart again!

To Hermit Or Not To Hermit

I think I’m trying to turn myself back into a hermit. I used to be one, ya know. Scared of everything and everyone, I stayed in my room watching movies and eating chips. Bad habit, that is. To hide oneself away and to eat chips. I’m more outgoing than I used to be but that’s not saying a lot. I was so shy that I couldn’t even order my own food in a restaurant. That was a lifetime ago and nowadays I can talk to almost anyone. I had to get used to the fact that I belong on this earth just as much as anyone. I used to put myself down, telling myself that I wasn’t good enough. There’s always going to be someone prettier, or smarter, or more talented, but we all matter. We’re all important. Where was I going with this? I’m not sure. Anyway, here’s a drawing of an ice cream cone. The prompt for today is scoop.

Is This Going To Kill Me?

I never thought I’d be afraid of food, but that’s still an issue right now. Last night, I had low sodium tacos. It’s good, but it scares me. I eat healthy now, but I get cravings for my old favorites. I just choose healthier substitutes that I make at home. I stress the whole time I’m eating something I shouldn’t because my weird brain tells me I could have another heart attack right then. I know that’s not how it works, but the fear is still there. Hopefully those fears will fade.